Adventura, Poetry
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A Coward’s Confession

A Coward_s Confession by Valerie | ORKED MAG (Photo by sarah-gray-351935)

Photo by Sarah Gray


The sound of their laughter
reminds me of the flower
I watched when I was alone
blooming quietly
caressed by the wind
basking in the sun,
Somehow it was alright
to be the only one there
A faraway look
an occasional smile
a touch on my lips

You see, separation is a step to self-discovery
for all at once
we admit things and feelings
we never dared to
how we all hear voices in our reflections
how we’re just so scared to exist
and so surround ourselves with noise
God forbid we have one moment of silence
without feeling cold in our skin

So what drives me here
to nakedness?
to the truth?
what else but loss
the fear of, which fuels my foolish pursuit for control
a concept which is nothing but an illusion
crafted by our evil defense mechanism
making us take the seconds for granted
Tik, tok, tik, tok

However, I know
to be rebuilt more solid
all of me must be stripped away,
so now I stand here with arms outstretched
ready to die
and ready to live at the same time
I say,

I will have a thousand meals alone
I will sit through movies on my own
I will watch the flowers bloom quietly
I will smile when I remember those times
I will house those words that will never reach you
in sonnets
I will miss you between sighs

No longer will I dull my senses
or abstain from life
If that’s what it means to be away from you
If joy comes redefined as finally seeing the face of love

I promise, I will try

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